Mrs. Cubic Zirconia here, ladies…
How long is too long to wait for him to propose marriage?
Would you like to take our 1 question, 1-click, 1 click-your-vote poll?
If a couple has been together for a certain time period, when is it DEFINITELY time for one partner to propose?
Choose any poll option to vote and we’ll share the full results of what other ladies think; it might just be funny…or it might be valuable intel!
No More Than Six Months
If you're getting anxious for a ring after a mere six months, you might want to ‘hold your horses' and slow down those matrimonial aspirations. Getting engaged after a couple months is incredibly risky because you and Mr. Wonderful haven't experienced enough opportunities yet to get on each other’s nerves. Nor faced the ups and downs that will indeed test your love.
Let's face it-- anything under 6 months is still that new couple honeymoon phase of a relationship. At the six month marker, instead of stressing over what comes next or making demands, why not just be thrilled that you're in love and enjoying one another?
While you might reasonably think that ‘he's the one' after half a year, don't be too quick to start playing wedding bells. Recommendation: keep dating and assess whether or not you two really have what it takes to enter a committed dating relationship for the long-term. Even if you’re sure…premature demands for a ring just might sabotage the relationship by scaring off your future feature fella.
6-12 Months
Generally, 6-12 months is the minimum amount of time a couple needs to evaluate whether or not they should walk down the aisle. Of course, many couples are still in the honeymoon phase of the relationship at the year marker. These ladies and gents may still be viewing the large majority of their interactions with their love interest through rose-colored glasses.
By the year marker, it's clear that the relationship is serious-- but to be honest there’s no guarantee. The twosome may or may not progress to marriage. However, it probably makes sense to consider a future where marriage is possible. If. by the year's milestone, you don't feel like you could commit to this man forever, maybe it's best to move on.
If you hear wedding bells between 6 to 12 months, be sure to remember that it's still on the early side. Prince Charming might need more time dating before he is ready or willing to go ring shopping and pop the question.
12-24 Months
After a year or two of dating, you might feel ready to go dress shopping for that fairytale wedding gown. Just remember that 12-24 months is still relatively early for many couples to get engaged. Of course, there are lots of couples who did decide to get engaged by the two-year dating marker.
It might be early for some but it's common enough to hear a proposal between a year or two of dating if he's committed and enthusiastic about getting hitched. That isn't to say that he's not enthusiastic about you if he doesn't propose during this time frame; it simply means he isn't ready to do that (and still may never be ready), and he's not alone.
It's not uncommon to date for two years and not yet be engaged.
2-3 Years
Dating for two to three years and then getting engaged is definitely a reasonable time to wait for a proposal. Still, by the third year, if you haven't discussed marriage as a possibility, you should. You should know whether or not your boyfriend ever intends to get married.
You may want to end the relationship if he isn't open to marriage. You might be alright with keeping things simple. Regardless, if marriage is important to you, by this point you should start getting clear about your lover’s stance on matrimony.
Some people are fundamentally opposed to the concept of a legal contract that binds them as individuals-- together with their assets and incomes-- to one another. Talk to your partner.
3-5 Years
If he doesn't propose marriage between 3-5 years of dating, a woman who wants to get married should make it a high priority to find out why. That's because this is the "sweet spot" for what's considered 'average'.
Does he honor the concept of marriage? What's holding him up? Some men don't want to get married because of their occupation. They might travel or perform dangerous work. They may have only negative personal or observed experiences of the institution. They may have few to zero happy and positive marriage role models.
If you want to get married but he doesn't, you should know why he doesn't want to at this point in your relationship. Five years is a long time to be sharing a life with someone who may not want the same tying-the-knot next steps in life you want.
Some advice for less-experienced hetero ladies who are in a relationship but aren’t yet married (and want to be). Men don’t have the same sense of time we women do. If you’re going to have a husband who keeps you waiting, make sure you’ll have a husband worth waiting for.
6-10 Years
We can safely say that dating 6+ years without a marriage proposal is going to bug some women and cause other women around them to say negative things. Others around you will speak about their desire for the two of you to get married-- or not.
Bottom line at year 6 and beyond: he has a very serious mental hangup about marriage, or he probably doesn't support the idea of marriage in general. By this time frame, you should certainly understand his reasons for not proposing to you.
If you don't know, you really need to get to the bottom of it. He might not think you’re marriage material. He might already be married. He might despise the notion of marriage. Or, you might even agree with him that marriage just isn't in the cards for you both.
Something is holding your guy back, or he'd have asked long ago.
There’s really 3 paths from here if you've been waiting 6-10 years for a proposal:
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You ask him to marry you!
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Decide with your love interest to make marriage happen quickly-- by changing the rules of your relationship and helping your guy overcome whatever was holding him back.
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Get used to waiting to exhale, sister.
Stick around after 6-10 years without a proposal, and you’ll probably be waiting for a lot longer. Along this journey towards the 10-year mark, some of society-- including actual laws in certain jurisdictions-- will consider the two of you to be in a “common law marriage” (especially if the two of you have been living together for a number of years).
10-15 Years
If you’ve long wanted to get married, and still want to get married…you have to realize at this point that you can't force someone to make a vow, but you can walk away to walk down the aisle with someone else. But you can propose to him! Many, many, many modern women have done it-- including Mrs. Cubic Zirconia herself (a story for another day?).
No proposal after 10 years of dating? Most women agree it doesn’t have to happen right away, but 10 years is beyond the average comfort zone for waiting for the next important step towards the life they’ve expressed that they want. Some women who want marriage will wait 10+ years for the right man she’s dating to propose, but it isn’t a majority.
15-20 Years
No proposal by 15 years? Hopefully, you don't want or expect one at this point because it's probably not gonna happen-- statistically speaking-- when one examines the evidence of long-term relationships that do not ever lead to getting married.
If you want to get married, maybe it’ll happen but don't bet your house or your paycheck on it.
If he doesn't propose by now, he's unlikely to ever ask you to marry him. Have you considered asking him to marry you?
By this point, you’ve presumably talked over marriage with him a number of times. If you wanted then and still want now to be married, but he doesn't-- you need to know why so you can decide whether to stay in the relationship or move on.
20 Years or More
20 years! Really? We’re talking 7500 days of being together as a couple. It's never gonna happen in our opinion because your guy probably hates the idea of marriage. Maybe you don't feel the need to formally bind your lives together with marriage vows either? Or at least, by staying together, you’ve expressed that belief with actions even if your words on the subject have been different.
If you're still waiting by the 20-year marker, plan to keep waiting forever-- because it just doesn’t take this long to accomplish something some couples make happen over a drunken weekend in Vegas.
In antiquity, 20 years was mostly enough time for an Egyptian Pharoah’s final resting place to be constructed by a workforce of 100,000 people organizing 2 million blocks-- each weighing multiple tons-- into the precise arrangements of a Great Pyramid. In the 20th century, 20 years was mostly enough time to build and dredge the 50-mile long, 500-foot wide and 50-foot deep Panama Canal to connect the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.
That’s just a ridiculous amount of time to spend working on and towards something-- unless both people in the couple are NOT working towards anything-- because they already have what they want. It’s much more likely that one or both of you for some reason are fundamentally opposed to the idea of marriage in general.
I disagree with the entire premise of this poll!
You don't have to take this poll if you don't want to!
You can be mad that we’ve written today’s post to the ladies and with the expectation (not always true) that a march towards matrimony is held up only by the guy’s hesitation to commit-- or be irritated that the whole poll and article are only hetero-oriented.
We aren’t trying to offend anyone or to say we know it all-- just share some thoughts from experience, research, and conversations with many women and men over the years who are considering a marriage proposal as a next step towards a future together forever. Frankly, I would personally have preferred the poll to be written in a different way! The better question would have been not after you start dating but "After you yourself have decided you want to be married and have discussed your marriage desires with your partner, how long is too long to wait for a marriage proposal?"
Yes, some of our readers know...I proposed to my future husband in 2013 when after 6 years he hadn’t done it. That was right for me. What's right for others is their business. We're just here to provide some things to think about, and some things to laugh about-- plus of course some things to bring more sparkle to your life, ear, hand and neck!
You know your relationship best.
You can wait or not wait for a proposal.
You can support the idea of marriage or not.
You can propose to your guy if you prefer to take matters in your own hands.
You can even choose your own ring!
And at CubicZirconia.com, we have thousands of customizable high-quality engagement rings to choose from. Browse our collection to find your favorites. You can even give him a hint–any time–about your favorite rings in our inventory.
It's always your choice to wait or not to wait, but you don’t have to wait to to get some ideas for the engagement ring you’d most like to receive when the time is right for you both!
With love, light and laughter…
-- Mrs. Cubic Zirconia
P.S. When we say “it doesn’t have to happen right away”, we’re not just talking about getting to the proposal, the engagement, and the wedding on the way to being happily married, either. We also mean that at CubicZirconia.com, we’re gonna be here when you need us-- whether that first purchase is the same day you learn about our brand...
16 weeks later...16 months later…or 16 years later.
Truly, it doesn’t have to happen right away: good things are worth waiting for!
